too much?

Biola looks more and more different every time I come back. The caf is filled with younger and more stylish kids, the walkways are busier, and new faces are popping up everywhere. But I'm still grateful for all that I've learned and the ways I've grown because of this place. I'm going to enjoy each moment I have left here, but at the same time look ahead with excitement toward life to come.

Speaking of what's to come...

I need prayer. Lots of it. So much so in the next few days. All the plans I've made for the next year are being shaken up a little... I mean, there are many things, namely one, that will not change. But as far as where I'll be living and what I'll be doing... I have never given something up to God with such sincerity and confusion. There are several options, and up until this point I thought I knew what this year would look like, but a few revelations and doors have opened up today that has taken everything I've planned and put it in a blender. I really have no idea what it means... if it's just an option I'm going to turn down, or if it's an avenue that my life will end up taking. Tomorrow will be a pivotal day that's going to involve a lot of talking and praying. Lots and lots of prayer. So all that is to say this: if you think of it, pray for discernment and open eyes to God's leading. For me, for Joel, and that we'd be open to what God has for us. I'm usually not this specific about personal things like this over the vast space of the internet, but I value prayer from my friends in all areas, especially when it comes to Joel and I, and I really need it.

Thanks, friends. I'll let you know how it turns out...

- Kate

"isn't it strange..."

God can get ahold of us in the most unexpected ways... like chapel makeups. Who could have seen that one coming?

I'm ready for the months ahead, Jesus. Prepare me for this next stage in life.

ravings of a full heart

Is it pathetic when two people in love find it difficult to be away from each other for a mere 5 or 6 days? Is it pathetic that when physical vicinity is concerned, they both feel as if a part of them is missing when the other is gone? My immediate response is to let out a resounding and unrestrained no... but with all the eyerolling going on around me, I'm beginning to wonder if the exciting things that come from true and real love are being squashed by eyes of criticism and doubt among Christian circles. In fact, I rather wonder if relationships and real love between a man and a woman can even exist among believers today without pangs of negativity and distrust.

I might be overgeneralizing because not everyone leans towards these tendencies. But countless conversations with peers on multiple Christian campuses over several years has made me wonder. The phrase "ring by spring" and other sentiments poking fun at relationships formed while going to a Christian college have been so overused and engrained in our minds that a healthy level of cynicism and contempt has arisen among us. It seems that every time a couple passes by us on the main walkways of our university, holding hands and smiling, our eyes immediately roll and eyebrows raise at its mere existence, which according to us, "won't last another month".

When did we become so skeptical of love? Behind every doubt cast, there is always a story of a couple we know, who according to us, "prayed and did all the right things, thought it was the right timing, and ended up in a rocky marriage" etc etc. Because of these examples we have found suddently set in stone the "fact" that most relationships are just caught up in pure emotion and real love can't be truly known until 3 years have passed and you've "seen every side of that person."

Since when has love been dependent on or limited by time? It seems that love has become generalized as a flippant emotion, rather than a devoted decision that lasts a lifetime.

Why are we so negative? Can nothing be good and celebrated anymore with encouragement?

I wonder.

January is for lovers

I've decided to go along with my gmail account and keep the blogger, therefore selling my soul to google and making the transaction complete.

(well, not really, but it seems google is taking over the universe these days, doesn't it?)

Here we go.

It's January, and I'm into my last week of interterm internship (alliteration, anyone?). It's been an interesting ride. I'm not sure that I've enjoyed it or disliked it, just grateful toward it for the experience it's given me. Yet because this is the last week until school starts, it's put me into full panic mode. There are so many things to do before I start my final semester at Biola. I have a feeling panic will be the theme of this spring, and that, my friends, is the nature of the beast that is senior year. So many plans to make, living situation and career to figure out, moving stuff around, awkward transitions into post-college adult life. What a strange time for any sane person.... it's kind of like jr. high all over again. Think about it: you're coming into your own, shedding the old childlike life and figuring out what it means to be an adult. I have a firm belief that college and jr. high are like siblings. Or two best friends that can relate, at least.

All the while I have been making plans this year... they're still in the dream stage at this point, but starting to take shape. Am I scared? You bet. But that's okay. Everyone has an opinion of how your life should be run, and I'm sure not everyone is going to agree with where my life might go. I just know that I'm going by how the Lord has lead me, His timing, and the talents He has blessed me with, as well as by the calendar of a man I dearly love.

Senior year... give me your best shot.

PS - go listen to "Kathleen" by Josh Ritter. Or any Josh Ritter song, really, but he is fantastic. I fall more in love with him every time I listen. (Don't worry, Joel, I mean in a musical sense. haha)